When your friend has Cancer....Caregivers verus Front Line Friends...Well it has been almost a month since a lifetime friend found out she has Cancer. If there is a Guidebook or Rulebook for the Front Line Friends, I wish I had it. I have stumble bumbled my way into trying to find ways to be a good friend and have found myself flat on the ground more times than once. The good thing is I get up and keep going.
When your friend has Cancer....Caregivers verus Front Line Friends...I am not one of the caregivers. It turns out that I mentioned an organization in the area that another Childhood Friend runs called Circle of Care. They are there several hours a day to give help. And my friend "E" has a really supportive family live right around her home. She also has great neighbors. I am the second tier or one of the Front Line Friends.
When your friend has Cancer....Caregivers verus Front Line Friends..The first thing I did was sign "E" up on www.CaringBridge.org. She does not have a laptop most of the time and does not want to use it anyway. So I read her the messages. There are over 110 Guestbook Entries and 500 visits. I think she genuinely enjoys them as I read them to her every few days. The next step I took was to open a Private Facebook Group and post some photos. A lot of the CaringBridge.org folks migrated over but note to self: a bunch will not do Facebook. So I thought I could close down the one way conversation on CaringBridge.org and let her interact on Facebook but I did not calculate she is not getting on the computer and a lot of her friends do not do Facebook. Best solution, I will read her both entries from both platforms.
When your friend has Cancer....Caregivers verus Front Line Friends..Yesterday I saw her for the first time and I took her magazines and a touch of Spring. I picked up flowers along the roadside while on House Tour which then made a big mess at her place so note to self again..no roadside flowers. Today I contacted www.Cleaningforareason.org. They have a waiting list so they open their site up at Noon for a few minutes only to take applications for Cancer Patients. The service provides once a month free house cleaning for four months. I found Michelle Carder on line in Southern Maryland with Cleaning Concepts, Inc. She can be reached at
Michelle Carder, President
Cleaning Concepts, Inc.
301-609-9045
She was unbelievably helpful and has one opening for my Friend, "E". We have to get a Doctor's letter to www.CleaningforaReason.org. They are bonded and insured, too. Anyway, my Front Line Friend Project so far has included www.CaringBridge.org, www.CleaningforaReason.org, Circle of Care , Facebook Private Group, Magazines, and when she can eat again, the folks at Panera said I could take a lunch on the house to her. She is as much a Panera Junkie as me. Somehow, she skipped being a Starbucks nut, too. She asked me if I would bring her Panera. No problem....When your friend has cancer, your world changes, too. These are some great organizations in Southern Maryland if you should become a Front Line Friend. If you have any suggestions on being a Front Line Friend, I sure would appreciate them.
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Hi Cheryl~ I can't even begin to imagine how one deals with a lifelong friend developing cancer. It has to be one of the toughest things for you right now....
Cheryl....I just know that you get or got your great skills at "Friend-ness" from your association with those wonderful puppies & the majestic adult golden[s]; interesting your choice of breed of Golden for that is what you bring into your friend's life; even with the spread of God's flower petals & leaves in her house, she knew what it is that you wanted to share. I believe that those who carry heavier crosses than most, do & are on the 'instant line to our creator" I would love to have you as a 'front-line friend' or just a regular friend.
Barb
Cheryl ~ It sounds like "E" has a terrific life long friend in you. We all should wish to have a friend like you if we should ever need one. I hope "E" is doing better everyday.
Hey Cheryl -
What a sweet post. Thank you for mentioning my business - but the link is not to me. My website address is mdcircleofcare.com. Grateful for the referral. Thank you!
Lee Ann, I corrected the link and thanks everyone for the nice thoughts and words.
Cheryl, You are truly a great friend, I just two days ago lost one of the most wonderful, fascinating friends I have ever known. You are in a tough situation that is hard to navigate, all the best to you and I hope things turn out well
I am so sorry to hear that. Once you enter this Journey with one or your lifelong friends, there is no going back to what used to be is what I see. There is a new normal for each of you.
Cheryl...That is an incredibly clever way of helping someone who is largely computer illiterate and in need of love.
Most of you entry is good, but I'm focused on the part where you signed up her to get messages from people. Knowing that she's not a computer-type of person, you reading the messages to her--when you know that she'll appreciate them but never read them herself--is using cleverness in the best way possible: Creative Kindness. How awesome!
Gerry...I'm really sorry about your friend...and for you. Often, I wonder how I'd be able to handle losing my best friend. In some ways, he's like a little brother. In others, he's like my big brother. In every way, I'd miss him. I know that you will never replace your friend; I just hope that the memories are strong enough to carry you for the rest of your life.